What to Do With What You Know

What do we do with what we know about good character? We teach, enforce, advocate and model (TEAM) the Six Pillars.

Teach!

How do you teach 4- to 6-year-olds about values and morality? Here are a few ideas for starters:

• Use stories, quotations, biographies, puppets, personal experiences, songs, poems, skits, videos, expectations and explanations.
• Ask questions.
• Give praise, appreciation, corrections - lots of positive feedback and necessary negative feedback.
• Use hugs as rewards.
• Discuss rules, requirements and consequences.
• Use checklists.
• Use rituals and traditions.
• Use the library.
• Assign responsibilities and tasks.
• Do service projects together.
• Encourage values-based projects.
• Find good examples from American history.
• Use songs, drawings, symbols, slogans, posters and greetings.
• Better yet, have them create signs, posters, symbols, songs, stories and puppet shows related to the Six Pillars of Character.
• Practice "what should you do" questions.
• Use your imagination to invent ways to teach the Six Pillars and simple dos and don'ts for each one.
• Teach your children to do and say things that are trustworthy, respectful, responsible, fair, caring and good citizenship.

These ideas come from One Hundred Ways to Enhance Values and Morality in School and Youth Settings (Allyn and Bacon, September 1994) and are used with permission of Dr. Howard Kirschenbaum, Warner Graduate School of Education, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14580 / (800) 278-3525.

Enforce!

Youngsters want and need boundaries. They need parents who set clear limits, not parents who try to be pals. Instill the Six Pillars of Character by rewarding good behavior (usually, praise is enough) and by discouraging all instances of bad behavior (imposing - or in some cases allowing others to impose - fair, consistent consequences that show you are serious about character). Enforce the core values even when it is difficult.

Advocate!

Make the importance of good character utterly clear. Your children need you as a signal for what's wrong or right. You don't have to be timid about pushing core universal values. Continually encourage your 4- to 6-year-olds to live up to the Six Pillars of Character. Don't be neutral about what to do and what not to do concerning each Pillar. Just as you are clear about them not running into the street or playing with matches, be clear and uncompromising that you want and expect your 4- to 6-year-olds to be trustworthy, respectful, responsible, fair, caring and good citizens.

Model!

This is the toughest step in character education. "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I do" just doesn't work. So be careful and self-conscious about setting a good example in everything you say and do. Hold yourself to the highest standards by honoring the Six Pillars of Character at all times. You may already be a good role model now, but remember, you don't have to be sick to get better. Everything you do, and don't do, sends a message about your values. Be sure your messages reinforce your lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard. When you slip (and most of us do), act the way you want your 4- to 6-year-olds to behave when they act improperly. Be accountable, apologize sincerely - and do better!

What to Do With What You Know

What do we do with what we know about good character? We teach, enforce, advocate and model (TEAM) the Six Pillars.

Teach!

How do you teach 6- to 9-year-olds about values and morality?

Here are a few ways for starters:

• Use stories, quotations, biographies, puppets, personal experiences, songs, poems, skits, videos, expectations and explanations.
• Use stories, quotations, biographies, personal experiences, songs, poems, skits, videos, expectations and explanations.
• Ask questions.
• Give praise, appreciation, corrections, lots of positive feedback and necessary negative feedback.
• Use hugs as rewards.
• Discuss rules, requirements and consequences.
• Use checklists.
• Use rituals and traditions.
• Use the library.
• Assign responsibilities and tasks.
• Do service projects together.
• Encourage values-based projects.
• Find good examples from history.
• Use songs, drawings, symbols, slogans, posters and greetings.
• Better yet, have them create Pillar-related signs, posters, symbols, songs, stories and puppet shows.
• Practice "what should you do" questions.
• Use your imagination to invent ways to teach the Pillars and simple dos and don'ts for each one.
• Teach your children to only do and say the things that are trustworthy, respectful, responsible, fair, caring and good citizenship.

These ideas come from One Hundred Ways to Enhance Values and Morality in School and Youth Settings (Allyn and Bacon, September 1994) and are used with permission of Dr. Howard Kirschenbaum, Warner Graduate School of Education, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14580 / (800) 278-3525.

Enforce!

Youngsters want and need boundaries. They need parents who set clear limits, not parents who try to be pals. Instill the Six Pillars of Character by rewarding good behavior (usually, praise is enough) and by discouraging all instances of bad behavior (imposing - or in some cases allowing others to impose - fair, consistent consequences that show you are serious about character). Enforce the core values even when it is difficult.

Advocate!

Make the importance of good character utterly clear. Your children need you as a signal for what's wrong or right. You don't have to be timid about pushing core universal values. Continually encourage your 6- to 9-year-olds to live up to the Six Pillars of Character. Don't be neutral about what to do and what not to do concerning each Pillar. Just as you are clear about them not running into the street or playing with matches, be clear and uncompromising that you want and expect your 6- to 9-year-olds to be trustworthy, respectful, responsible, fair, caring and good citizens.

Model!

This is the toughest step in character education. "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I do" just doesn't work. So be careful and self-conscious about setting a good example in everything you say and do. Hold yourself to the highest standards by honoring the Six Pillars of Character at all times. You may already be a good role model now, but remember, you don't have to be sick to get better. Everything you do, and don't do, sends a message about your values. Be sure your messages reinforce your lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard. When you slip (and most of us do), act the way you want your 6- to 9-year-olds to behave when they act improperly. Be accountable, apologize sincerely - and do better!

What to Do With What You Know

What do we do with what we know about good character? We teach, enforce, advocate and model (TEAM) the Six Pillars.

Teach!

How do you teach 9 to 11-year-olds about values and morality? As your 9- to 11-year-old becomes more and more involved in activities outside the home, get even more involved in those activities yourself. Here are a few ways for starters.

• Help them discover positive heroes.
• Use skits, games, biographies, personal experiences, movies, role models, mentors, quotations, non-fiction, stories, music, videos, expectations, explanation and role-play.
• Give praise, appreciation, corrections, lots of positive feedback and necessary negative feedback.
• Discuss rules, requirements and consequences.
• Have lists, contracts, codes and guidelines.
• Use rituals and traditions.
• Use the library.
• Assign responsibilities and tasks.
• Include friends in family service projects.
• Promote cross-generational helping and community service.
• Encourage values-based projects.
• Use symbols, slogans, posters and greetings.
• Discuss questions and hypothetical choices (what should you do?).
• Teach empathy and ethics.
• Use examples from sports programs and extracurricular activities.
• Have fun!

These ideas come from One Hundred Ways to Enhance Values and Morality in School and Youth Settings (Allyn and Bacon, September 1994) and are used with permission of Dr. Howard Kirschenbaum, Warner Graduate School of Education, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14580 / (800) 278-3525.

Enforce!

Youngsters want and need boundaries. They need parents who set clear limits, not parents who try to be pals. Instill the Six Pillars of Character by rewarding good behavior (usually, praise is enough) and by discouraging all instances of bad behavior (imposing - or in some cases allowing others to impose - fair, consistent consequences that show you are serious about character). Enforce the core values even when it is difficult.

Advocate!

It's natural for a child to test the limits. Your challenge is to prove that some standards don't change. For decades, parents have been afraid to impose values for fear of being judgmental or stifling creativity. But 9- to 11-year-olds need you as an advocate for what's right! You don't have to be timid about pushing core universal values. Continually encourage your 9- to 11-year-olds to live up to the Six Pillars of Character. Don't be neutral about the importance of character. Don't be casual about improper conduct. Be clear and uncompromising that you want and expect your youngster to be trustworthy, respectful, fair, caring and a good citizen.

Model!

This is the toughest step in character education. "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I do" just doesn't work. So be careful and self-conscious about setting a good example in everything you say and do. Hold yourself to the highest standards by honoring the Six Pillars of Character at all times. You may already be a good role model now, but remember, you don't have to be sick to get better. Everything you do, and don't do, sends a message about your values. Be sure your messages reinforce your lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard. When you slip (and most of us do), act the way you want your 9- to 11-year-olds to behave when they act improperly. Be accountable, apologize sincerely - and do better!

What to Do With What You Know

Do you recognize that person who seemingly just yesterday was hugging you, today hugs a boyfriend or girlfriend? How about that person in the freakish outfit? As you know, that person may well be your middle-schooler. This is the stage in life when we might want to raise our children from a remote location. Hormones are changing their bodies. They are increasingly worried about being unpopular. They may not even like themselves. For most 11- to 13-year-olds, this is an uncertain, confusing, frustrating stage of life. That makes it a challenging time for parents too.

While we all want our pre-teens to have good values, character development may seem like the least of our challenges at this stressful period. But good character doesn't just happen. This emotionally turbulent stage is exactly the time when adolescents need solid anchors, limits, and assurance that they will be capable, lovable and self-sufficient adults. This is no time for indecisive, timid or faint-hearted parenting. Give your child solid values to get him through this turbulent time. Give him some hope; he will get through this. Assure him that mistakes, confusion and even clumsiness are normal for this period in life and that every day is a fresh start.

As the parent of a pre-teen, you might feel you are running out of time to teach right from wrong. At this point, when peers seem to matter more than parents, it may not be easy to push "character." But don't give up. You can do it!

Teach!

How do you teach 11- to 13-year-olds about values and morality? Here are a few ways for starters.

• Use statistics, quotes, movies, games, fiction, non-fiction, stories, music, videos, expectations, explanation, admonition and even moralizing.
• Ask questions.
• Give praise, appreciation, corrections, lots of positive feedback and necessary negative feedback.
• Discuss rules, requirements and consequences.
• Create lists, contracts, codes and guidelines.
• Use rituals and traditions.
• Use the library.
• Assign responsibilities and tasks.
• Promote cross-generational helping and community service and tutoring.
• Encourage values-based projects.
• Find examples from history and current events.
• Use symbols, slogans, T-shirts, bumper stickers, posters and greetings.
• Discuss questions and hypothetical choices (what should you do?).
• Teach empathy and compassion.
• Use examples from sports programs and extracurricular activities.

These ideas come from One Hundred Ways to Enhance Values and Morality in School and Youth Settings (Allyn and Bacon, September 1994) and are used with permission of Dr. Howard Kirschenbaum, Warner Graduate School of Education, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14580 / (800) 278-3525.

Enforce!

Even 11- to 13-year-olds want and need boundaries. They need parents who set clear limits, not parents who try to be pals. Instill the Six Pillars of Character by rewarding good behavior (usually, praise is enough) and by discouraging all instances of bad behavior (imposing - or in some cases allowing others to impose - fair, consistent consequences that show you are serious about character). Enforce the core values even when it is difficult.

Advocate!

This is not the time to wimp out on clear standards. Your challenge is to prove that some standards don't change. For decades, many parents have been afraid to impose values for fear of being judgmental or stifling creativity. But 11- to 13-year-olds need you as an advocate for what's right! You don't have to be timid about pushing core universal values. They may be starting to look like adults, but they aren't there yet. Continually encourage your children to live up to the Six Pillars of Character. Don't be neutral about the importance of character. Don't be casual about improper conduct. Be clear and uncompromising that you expect them to be trustworthy, respectful, fair, caring and good citizens.

Model!

This is the toughest step in character education. "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I do" just doesn't work. So be careful and self-conscious about setting a good example in everything you say and do. Hold yourself to the highest standards by honoring the Six Pillars of Character at all times. You may already be a good role model now, but remember, you don't have to be sick to get better. Everything you do, and don't do, sends a message about your values. Be sure your messages reinforce your lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard. When you slip (and most of us do), act the way you want your 11- to 13-year-old to behave when they act improperly. Be accountable, apologize sincerely ��� and do better!

What to Do With What You Know

What do we do with what we know about good character? We teach, enforce, advocate and model (TEAM) the Six Pillars.

Teach!

How do you teach teens about values and morality? Here are a few ways for starters.

• Use statistics, quotes, movies, games, fiction, non-fiction, stories, music, videos.
• Explain things.
• Ask questions.
• Give praise, appreciation, corrections, lots of positive feedback and necessary negative feedback.
• Discuss rules, requirements and consequences.
• Have lists, contracts, codes and guidelines.
• Use rituals and traditions.
• Use the library.
• Assign responsibilities and tasks.
• Promote cross-generational helping and community service and tutoring.
• Encourage values-based projects and mentoring activities.
• Find examples from American history and democracy.
• Use symbols, slogans, T-shirts, bumper stickers, posters and greetings.
• Discuss hypothetical choices (i.e., what should you do if ...?)
• Teach empathy and compassion.
• Use examples from sports programs and extracurricular activities.
• Share family stories and biographies.

These ideas come from One Hundred Ways to Enhance Values and Morality in School and Youth Settings (Allyn and Bacon, September 1994) and are used with permission of Dr. Howard Kirschenbaum, Warner Graduate School of Education, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14580 / (800) 278-3525.

Enforce!

Even teens want and need boundaries. They need parents who set clear limits, not parents who try to be pals. Instill the "Six Pillars of Character" by rewarding good behavior (usually, praise is enough) and by discouraging all instances of bad behavior by imposing (or in some cases allowing others to impose) fair, consistent consequences that show you are serious about character. Enforce the core values even when it is difficult.

Advocate!

This is not the time to wimp out on clear standards. Your challenge is to prove that some standards don't change. For decades, parents have been afraid to impose values for fear of being judgmental or stifling creativity. But teens need you as an advocate for what's right! You don't have to be timid about pushing core universal values. They may be starting to look like adults, but they aren't there yet. Continually encourage your teens to live up to the Six Pillars of Character. Don't be neutral about the importance of character. Don't be casual about improper conduct. Be clear and uncompromising that you expect them to be trustworthy, respectful, fair, caring and good citizens.

Model!

This is the toughest step in character education. "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I do" just doesn't work. So be careful and self-conscious about setting a good example in everything you say and do. Hold yourself to the highest standards by honoring the Six Pillars of Character at all times. You may already be a good role model now, but remember, you don't have to be sick to get better. Everything you do, and don't do, sends a message about your values. Be sure your messages reinforce your lessons about doing the right thing even when it's hard. When you slip, act the way you want your teens to behave when they act improperly. Be accountable, apologize sincerely - and do better!