A Character Education Primer for Parents
You never outgrow the need for good character. Young people need solid standards, and so do their parents. Focusing on the quality of your own character will help you teach, enforce, advocate and model the Six Pillars of Character.
The Six Pillars of Character (and ethical decision making) form the basis of honorable behavior at every age. Simply remember that good character is terrific (that's "T.R.R.F.C.C." - Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring and Citizenship).
Respect
Respect means showing others that they are valued for who they are, for their character, not what they look like or what they have. It means treating others the way you want to be treated, never insulting or making fun of others who are different in appearance, ability, race or religion. A respectful person is polite, does not use hurtful language and never uses violence.
Dos
- Treat everyone with respect by being courteous and polite.
- Respect the independence and individuality of others. Taking into account the age and maturity of a person, respect his/her right to develop decision-making competence.
- Be tolerant and appreciative of individual differences.
- Judge people on their merits, not on their race, religion, nationality, gender, physical or mental condition, or social and economic status.
Don'ts
- Don't insult, abuse, demean, mistreat or harass others.
- Don't make inappropriate or unwanted comments about a person's race, religion, or gender.
- Don't manipulate or take advantage of other people.
Responsibility
Responsibility is doing what you are supposed to do. Responsible people think ahead, set reasonable goals, control their tempers and always do their best. They don't give up easily, especially when others are counting on them. They are accountable for the consequences of their choices; they don't blame others for their mistakes.
Dos
- Think before you act. Consider the consequences for yourself and others. Then decide whether the action is trustworthy, respectful, responsible, fair, caring and a mark of good citizenship for everyone affected by the decision.
- Be accountable. Take responsibility for the consequences of your actions (or lack of action).
- Be reliable. Always perform your duties.
- Set a good example in what you say and do. Act as if someone whose respect you want is always watching.
- Take the initiative to make your school, organization, neighborhood or home better for yourself and others.
- Do your best! Make everything you do worthy of pride.
- Stick to it! Meet your responsibilities even when it is difficult.
- Finish your work before you play.
Don'ts
- Don't blame others for your mistakes.
- Don't take credit for other people's work or accomplishments.
- Don't give up.
- Don't neglect your duties.
Fairness
Fairness is playing by the rules, taking turns, sharing and listening. Fair people do not take advantage of others. They consider all sides before they decide and don't blame others unjustly.
Dos
- Treat all people fairly.
- Listen closely to others. Try to understand what they are feeling and saying or trying to say.
- Consider all the facts, including opposing views, before making a decision.
- Make impartial decisions, using the same criteria or standards for everyone.
- Correct your mistakes.
Don'ts
- Don't take advantage of other people's mistakes or ignorance.
- Don't take more than your fair share.
- Don't let personal preferences, prejudices or other feelings improperly interfere with decisions which should be based on merit.
Caring
Caring is being kind, helpful and generous to everyone. Caring people are not selfish; they are considerate and always think about how their conduct affects others. They have compassion and empathy; they care how others feel and they are charitable and forgiving. They do good deeds without thought of reward.
Dos
- Show you care about others through kindness, caring, generosity and compassion.
- Live by the Golden Rule: treat others the way you want them to treat you.
- Think how every decision, word or action will impact every stakeholder.
Don'ts
- Don't be selfish.
- Don't be mean or cruel.
- Don't be insensitive to the feelings of others.
Citizenship
Citizenship is doing your share to help your family and make your community a better place. Good citizens are good neighbors. They cooperate with others, obey laws and rules, protect the environment, and respect the authority of parents, teachers and others.
Dos
- Obey the rules.
- Obey laws. If you cannot obey them, work to change them.
- Make your school a better place for students and faculty.
- Make your neighborhood a safer, happier place for adults and kids.
- Vote and encourage others to vote.
- Learn about the various educational, social, economic, service and decision-making systems in the community and use your knowledge, talents and energy to make them function more effectively.
- Be a good team player.
- Be aware of the impact your consumer choices have on the environment and other people in other locales.
Don'ts
- Don't bend the rules.
- Don't break laws.
- Don't be a citizen in name only.
- Don't spoil the environment.
- Don't waste resources or consume thoughtlessly and greedily.
