Give Trustworthiness Your
Honest Effort
Help Your Family Show Respect
Promote
Responsibility at Home
Emphasize
Fairness in Your Family
Create a Caring Climate in the
Home
Show
Good Citizenship
Give Trustworthiness Your
Honest Effort
• Return things you borrow.
• Return lost items to their owners.
• Return the extra change when a cashier gives you more than you're due. (Children are watching!)
• Show loyalty to your child's school, your family and your employer in your words and actions. Deal with disagreements in an orderly, confidential way, not with gossip or dishonesty.
• Have a "thought for the day" (or week or month).
• Be cautious about making only those promises that you have the ability and intent to keep.
• Keep your promises to your child. Write them down if you have trouble remembering them. If unforeseen circumstances prevent you from keeping a promise, explain and apologize openly. Don't blame others or make excuses.
• Be honest in your words and actions. Do everything possible to convey the truth to the best of your knowledge. Give people the information they need to make the wisest decisions, regardless of what it costs you. Don't deceive with words or actions. Don't trick anyone.
• Walk your talk. Live your beliefs. Be who you say you are or want to be.
• Establish family rules and policies, which include honesty, promise keeping, loyalty and integrity in conversations.
• Use and define words such as trustworthiness, honesty, promise keeping, loyalty and integrity. Use quotes that exemplify behavior in accordance with these values.
• Praise family members daily for their trustworthy behavior.
• Encourage family members to recognize and acknowledge trustworthy behavior in each other an in others.
• Discuss the importance of integrity, of being able to look at yourself in the mirror, and being proud of who your are and what you stand for.
• Select for your home character-building movies, videos, magazines and books that celebrate trustworthiness.
• Surround your family with people who clearly value trustworthiness above financial success or popularity.
• Encourage your children to serve as models of trustworthiness for younger brothers, sisters or neighbors.
• Remind all family members of their very real status as role models for others.
• Share magazine or newspaper articles relating to honesty/dishonesty in your community as family discussion-openers.
• Use the words honesty, trustworthiness, trust, truth, promise keeping, loyalty and integrity in family dialogue.
• Focus on trustworthiness for at least a month when the community focuses on that Pillar. If the community hasn't organized a CHARACTER COUNTS! Pillar of the Month, select a month when it works best for your family. Make a big deal of the monthly word.
• Be polite to each other, your children, their friends, family guests, neighbors, coworkers and everyone else.
• Celebrate the uniqueness of individuals in your family and neighborhood. Discuss ways in which you have a stronger family and community because of so many different abilities and traits.
• Define respect, dignity, privacy, courtesy, individuality and uniqueness and use these words frequently.
• Develop family guidelines for treating each other with decency, allowing others to maintain their sense of dignity, giving needed privacy, and appreciating others' individuality.
• Focus on respect for an entire month.
• Have a refresher course in manners at home. Practice your good manners as you eat a meal together.
• Videotape yourselves at mealtime. Use the video to brainstorm ways to behave more respectfully toward one another.
• Discuss specific, respectful behaviors that each family member needs or appreciates.
• Collect $1 (or even 25 cents) for a special family fund jar, box or drawer from every family member caught rolling eyes, not listening in a conversation, "putting someone down," gossiping or being disrespectful in other ways. Use the money for a special family meal or event and reflect on better behavior. Better yet, contribute money to a special fund when you catch a family member showing respectful behavior!
• Discuss the implications of disrespectful jokes or comments as they're made on TV shows and movies you see.
• Cite role models of respectful behavior and encourage your children to model respectful behavior to peers and younger friends.
Promote Responsibility at Home
• Be accountable for your words and actions. Don't make excuses.
• Be punctual.
• Pursue excellence in all you do. Do your part, and more.
• Develop family guidelines for responsible behavior.
• Place quotes, words and definitions related to responsibility, accountability, self-control, excellence and punctuality on mirrors, the refrigerator and TV.
• List one household task - such as cleaning the bathroom, raking leaves, sweeping the porch, cleaning your room - on each of a series of index cards. Shuffle the cards and let family members draw assignments daily or weekly, as needed.
• Acknowledge responsible behavior. Be specific. Recognize self-control, pursuit of excellence, doing your part, accountability and punctuality.
• Search for specific instances of responsible behavior (pursuit of excellence, accountability, self-control, doing your part, punctuality) in news articles, magazines, movies or television shows.
• Spot examples of irresponsibility in literature, movies and TV and discuss ways in which the person or group could have behaved responsibly.
• Focus on responsibility for an entire month.
• Develop a daily or weekly responsibility checklist.
Emphasize Fairness in Your Family
• Show fairness to one another by establishing and using criteria and guidelines for special privileges.
• Use fairness-related terms in conversation - such as fair, equality, standards and rules.
• Announce rules for family life in writing.
• Develop rules that are appropriate for varying age and skill levels.
• Focus on fairness for an entire month.
• Play a game by the rules.
• Discuss fair ways to choose a movie, restaurant or vacation.
• Discuss why choices seem fair when they put us at an advantage and unfair when they put us at a disadvantage.
• As a family, discuss "unfair" practices and together develop more equitable procedures.
Create a Caring Climate in the Home
• Be kind to each other, your children, their friends, guests and others.
• Select at least one month to emphasize "caring."
• When necessary, be firm but not harsh.
• Make your home a caring place by establishing codes of conduct that discourage sarcasm, name-calling, labeling or "put-downs."
• Frequently use words related to caring, such as: kindness, love, concern, care, help, friendliness, caregiver, encourage, giving, selflessness and patience.
• Encourage family members to recognize and acknowledge caring behavior in each other and in friends.
• Collect quotes, cards, articles, comics and stories about caring. Share them with family members.
• Select and discuss caring characters from literature, movies and TV. Choose examples of uncaring behavior and verbally "rewrite" the scripts to show caring instead. Make opportunities to show caring in an active way. Select one project a week.
• Create you own "random acts of kindness" plan. Select a good deed to do anonymously during the week.
• Discuss what it feels like to be "left out."
• When guests are in the home, ask them to describe caring acts which have affected their lives.
• Send holiday cards.
• Praise one another for caring behavior.
• Share examples of caring from the day's experiences.
• Have a family hug now and then.
• Vote!
• Create a list of community responsibilities and privileges. Work on the responsibilities.
• Select a month to emphasize citizenship if your community doesn't have one.
• In conversation, use such citizenship-related words as rights, obligation, duty, community, selflessness, law and government.
• Develop a list of long-term civic goals as a family. Do something each month to work toward accomplishing a goal.
• Have a family referendum in which family members vote on local, state or national issues.
• Select a family service project each week to help someone in your community.
• Participate in local celebrations.
• Display your child's drawings of significant places in your community. Have a "showing" for family (and even friends and neighbors)
• Discuss the importance of taking care of the environment and the costs of not doing so.
